A Letter to My Younger Self
Notice: while I respect that AI can be a helpful writing tool, I did not use it to write the following blog. Enjoy!
Dear Gilbert,
First of all, breathe man. Again. And one more time.
You’re 17, and you probably can’t even recall the last time you happily took three deep breaths. Probably since you were in like 4th grade, it’s been go-go-go for you. Constantly doing something. Repeatedly playing basketball in the driveway—even when it was basically too dark to see. Texting and calling friends nonstop to see if they wanted to hang out. Now it’s more of the same: driving around with your friends, trying to find things to do, working as fast as you can at your parents’ restaurant, packing your schedule. You’ve spent most of your life glorifying doing and just hating the idea of sitting by yourself idly.
But I’m telling you that those three breaths you just took were important. And you’ll need to take intentional deep breaths again. Let me spoil the near future for you: by the time you’re 30, you’re going to work hard and achieve all the goals that you set out for yourself in your 20s.
You’ll attend incredible sports games, awesome social gatherings, and exhilarating concerts. You’ll help people in your work as a high school teacher and advising high school students on their college applications. You’ll travel to countries like China, Japan, Canada, Cambodia, Thailand, Australia, New Zealand. You’ll explore all around the US. You’ll even accomplish your dream of becoming a high school varsity boys basketball coach.
You’re going to eventually become a person that you can be really proud of. Someone who brings positive energy to the world through telling jokes, your contagious smile and laughter, and seamlessly connecting with others on a deep level. You’ll focus on the simpler things in life: your mental and physical health, your peace and contentment, and your relationships with others. You’ll wake up with clear values that you can stand behind.
Knowing that at 17, you can take the moments ahead of you with more calm and ease. You can enjoy the present moments without thinking so much about what the next thing is. You can make smarter choices when you’re out with friends. You can let go of how others perceive you and your social status. You’re trying so hard to seek approval from others, and you haven’t slowed down enough to just acknowledge and respect the qualities that actually make you a beautiful person.
You need deep breaths. Put the screens away for 10 minutes and embrace the quiet times. You need to drop your hunched shoulders. Stop tapping your feet. Put both feet firmly on the ground and let them rest there. Take a few seconds to actually look around at your surroundings right now. Smell the air. Hear the noises or silence in your spaces, instead of hearing the other dozen probably nonsensical thoughts you have going on. Give yourself some genuine compliments. Own that you have a Chinese background and recognize the good that comes with that. Accept that you can’t force your parents to change, and move forward with your life accordingly. Your GPA doesn’t define who you are. Say and do things for people that are in line with the natural goodness of your heart and not with the intention to impress others. Remember that it’s good to pursue more, but acknowledge all of what you already have. These things will help you be more of a human being than a human doing.
Be more vulnerable with yourself and with others. You’re not the only kid in your grade who has family struggles or cares too much about what others think of them. Go to therapy, because there are actually things you need support for when you’re trying to figure life out. Then tell your friends that you’re going to therapy and know that it can be really beneficial for them to hear that. Tell them that just because you see a therapist doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you recognize that there are some less-than-ideal qualities about yourself and the situations that you’re in. You need to address those so you can be more at peace with yourself. Paradoxically, take yourself less seriously. You’re not the star of the the world’s movie; you’re one small part of it that can help make the world’s movie just a tiny bit better. That’s a journey worth pursuing and a perspective that will save you unnecessary stress.
With your mind and body, you can do anything positive that you set out to do. And trust me, you will. At the same time, you may think you’re invincible, but tomorrow is not guaranteed. Treat this day like it’s a blessing, because it is. More than anything, I love you and I’m proud of you.
Gilbert